I've Been Bitten By a "Cleaning Bug'

it's not an easy thing for me to balance between work and keeping a house squicky clean all the time. i will try my best to make everything in order. the best tip is to always keep it clean after every use so i dont have to scrub it hard every time i have spring cleaning. perhaps i dont even need any spring cleaning.last sunday was kitchen cleaning. next week i'll aim for the fridge and hall ,another week will be the bedroom, then,the middle room, then,guess room, then balcony. insyallah after a month i rotate the kitchen again.

saturday should be a day out..visiting friends, shopping or just a lunch out with Honey Startime is limited, life is hard, an organised schedule hope to make it better. i should be a better organiser since i'll be traveling frequently from now and then.

So yesterday HoneyStar was teaching me some lesson in cleaning. Yes, it’s good to be married to a “cleaning bug”. You’ll be affected too, otherwise you’ll be bitten by it :P

Kitchen Cleaning To-Do List

Every Day Kitchen Duties:

• Wipe down the sink after doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher (30 seconds).

• Wipe down the stove top (one minute).

• Wipe down the counters (one minute).

• Sweep, Swiffer, or vacuum the floor (two minutes).

Every Week :

• Mop the floor (five minutes).

• Wipe the cabinets, backsplashes, and appliances (10 minutes).

• Wash the dish rack (four minutes).

• Wipe the switch plates and phone (one minute).

• Wipe the inside of the garbage can (one minute).

Every Season:

• Empty and scrub down the inside of the refrigerator (30 minutes).

• Empty and clean the insides of the utensil drawers (15 minutes).

• Scrub down the cupboard exteriors (30 minutes).

• Clean the stove-hood filter (10 minutes).

• Perform "Shiny Sink 101".

Beat the Clock

In the time it takes to brew a pot of coffee, you can get through your "every day" list.

Be Prepared

Keep extra garbage bags (or a whole roll) at the bottom of your trash can and never again have to retrieve an apple core from a bagless bin.

Let It Shine
1. Fill sink to the rim with very hot water; add one cup regular bleach. Soak for one hour.

2. Drain and rinse thoroughly.

3. Scrub with Ajax, Bon Ami, or baking soda.

4. Be sure to rinse thoroughly.

5. Shine with Windex or another glass-cleaning spray.

6.Dry Thoroughly.

Things We Need

• Burner grids and knobs • Brushes and combs • Toothbrushes • Plastic utensil organizer • Refrigerator drawers • Drain catch • Sponges • Dish rack • Plastic toys (use discretion)

Cleaning Supplies to Keep in the Kitchen

• Clorox Disinfecting Wipes :for all hard, nonwood surfaces. They leave a fresh, nonchemical scent. X have

• Windex Glass and Surface Wipes :for windows and chrome. x have

•Microfiber cloths and mops, such as StarFiber or Act Natural ; euronetusa.com: green alternatives to disposable wipes, or to chemical cleaners and paper towels. For cleaning all surfaces. Especially effective for polishing stainless steel. i have microfiber cloths and mops and i love it. the mop is amazing in getting rid of hair since i have serious hairfall problem.

• Bleach. Yes..always

• Ajax ,Bon Ami or baking soda. I do have other type of floor cleanser and baking soda for baking purposes. i guess it's really handy to have it all the time

• Clorox ReadyMop : Wash the floor without a bucket. Works on most surfaces. No..but i do have a local brand :) still work wonders

• Broom, Swiffer , or handheld vacuum: for crumb busting. No vacuum.. no carpet in the house so i guess broom and swiffer is enough

SECRET no more

Hey, how are you? How’s your day? Every time I met her, she always has something to say. It seems that nothing “disables” her nothing “impaired” her. She works next door; we share same entrance, same restroom, and same lift. I bumped into her mostly in the restroom. As usual, she greets me with the most cheerful voice ever. I adore her; she was the first one to ask my name. Shame on me, I never cared to start a “friendship”. “Bulan” I said…and you? What should I call you? Ras. From that moment I registered her name as Ras in my brain. Could it be Rasidah? Rasilah? It doesn’t matter. She is a friend.


One hungry afternoon, I was about to have my lunch. I saw my staff and quickly joined her. I was alone, the cafeteria was crowded and I have no problem in sharing a table with others. It’s good to catch up. Ras was there too...so there were three of us. Sitting down, chatting, and munching the food down the throat. Ras was wearing a corporate shirt with a word “RAHSIA” embroidered neatly on the left side. “What organization is that?” silly me, I dint mean anything bad. I forgot that we normally tag our name on the left side. She started to make joke about being a secret. Yes, Rahsia means secret in Bahasa Malaysia. I stopped asking and we changed topic. The days after went like usual. She’s as bubbly as any other day.


Lately I’ve been going to her unit a lot, discussing my project with her boss since we have a new collaboration. I passed by her desk all the time. R.A.H.S.I.A. her name is Rahsia. She is Secret. People would quickly make assumption why she’s named Secret. I did the same.
Somehow, I learn things from her. It doesn’t matter how we looked like, how we sound like. It is us who make how others see us and how they hear us. We are the one who “disable” our own physical ability. We are the one who impaired our own speech. Allah create us equally, be grateful for who we are and what we have.


That’s the story of my friend, Rahsia. She is definitely a secret no more. I could hear her from a block away;)

a Year Less in LiFe

It’s been awhile since I last wrote a post. 2011 starts and I have things to plan, balancing work and family. I always wanted to be a better person both at work and home. However, I couldn’t organize my life neatly. Now, I have to be focus. ..Yes, who wouldn’t want to get the best employee award and at the same time winning a perfect wife badge. Simple house chores seem to be a big thing. It is good enough if I could squeeze in washing, ironing, cooking, mopping, cooking, and scrubbing on working days. Life could be crappy on certain days…I end up not looking after myself. Gained piles of weight and looking all scrumpy. I wish I will always look like an adorable princess for HoneyStar but unfortunately I often end up like the “red queen” in Alice in Wonderland. There were times; I’m worried about my own capability to juggle life and career. Everyone is not perfect but I dream of being a perfect person. Perhaps I need to stop all these nonsense ideas and be the best I can be. My “best” could be “worst” to others but...it’s me...my life. I want to enjoy life and be with my love ones. I love working but there’ll be time when I need to consider other possibility.


Work is ok. This year I am delighted to lead a research. I am totally eager to learn although the thoughts of completing it in 6 months bother me. I’m just scared…somehow, it’s a relief to know that my mentor has a good reputation and the best Guru in the field. My team members are all supportive and been helping me to gain information on the subject. This could be the only chance for me to challenge myself to the fullest in career. I think I’ll appreciate all these experience later even though my life could change 360 degrees.

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

My father named me “SUCCESS” and Insyallah I will be SuccessfuLL

Thanks FoR The MeMoRy

today is my last day in the sector..my last sweet day and may next days ahead be sweeter. hahaha..as if im moving far away..just one level up and few plight of steps.

HoNeY StaR bought a cake written THANK YOU for me to bring to office and some cash to pay the breakfast i ordered earlier. he said i should thank my previous colleagues especially my boss for giving this opportunity to show my talent in research and evaluation :) i need to settle that pending wedding party in the office anyway. better get it down before i actually move myself...try not to get involved with them much.

Why im being transferred? they said it is a reshuffle but my evil mind said..there's a foul play going on. the best they can do is putting me in a new "promising" sector. well, that's what everyone said. me? it's the same. they pay me and i work..i work even they dint pay me :) -some tough experience i finally overcame.

when my superior handed me the letter..i almost popped my eyes. whose decision is this?
? it's the director..bla bla bla. guess..my transfer started the day after. so..i took my time to calm down. dint pack anything. i just spread the news to my close coll. i was okay about it till i told my "friend". she dint seem to be surprised like most of us..so confirmed some of them know the "game" even before i knew it. what the...

i went back and told my Honey StaR about it. i tried not to have such suspicious feeling. then...the DaY..it was announced in the assembly..so people keep on asking me..how do i get to choose the "hot" sector. i dint. it just happened :) "another surprise wedding gift" i joked around. just to hide the bad thoughts i had.

half of the day was filled with laughter and lots of food for the division eid celebration. i reported to my new boss which doesnt seemed to have a clue where and when the "reshuffle" was coming. a typical welcoming speech "We're happy to have you around". mm..they are not stranger, i involved with their research from now and then..most of them know me well.

after the long Friday lunch break..the truth started to reveal. pretty much what i thought before. yes..i am transferred to give way for someone to stay. i laughed.."if you couldnt change it..laugh at it". knowing my inability to talk things through with my big boss..i'm accepting it. hey everyone wanted to be in that "cool" sector..i was one of them but never had the guts to do so. when it was time for me to go..i just pack some of my junks and threw away most of others. now, 99% are at the new office. my new bos is not around so i'm taking a time out and chose to stay at my old office..kindda fun to see some people are reckless seeing me around.

shall i say "Sweet Revenge?"..not so for some bubble head. i gave her rm2k project last time perhaps that's not enough and she kicked me...so i'm the typical super-nice-but-betrayed character. so how does it feel being back stabbed...Ouch..hurt

being in the new sector hope to speed up my phd plan..after postponing it for almost 2 years. i choose to quit and start afresh soon. writing research will be my core business so there's a high chance for me to master those research methodology in a year or so. bye bye working days. go back to the grad school. stay for 3 years and move to Sahara Desert..no kidding! Africa! Here I Come!

i couldnt deny that i did learn something in the previous unit..i just didnt fit in..Allah has better plan for me. he's removing me from the gossipers and backstabbers..avoiding me from being one of them. before i move my last piece of junks upstairs...to all those in the XXX Sector.

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY..I AM WELL-FED

am looking forward to reduce my weight gained in the sector:)

i shouldnt burden my thoughts with this matter..after all these awfull days, i'm looking foward to see my HoNeY StaR. yes..just love to see his smile after tiring days..

Slightly Under the Weather :'(

im coughing AGAIN! i was okay for almost a month..i wonder why im coughing again. im taking gd care of myself..x iced drinks..lots..i mean lots lots of water. stopped taking shower in the evening. could it be the cold temperature in the office? i got the feeling that it's the dusty carpet. it needs to be steamed! freaking dusty..
today i was feeling extremely sleepy while i was driving...i had to make sure im awake..very dangerous. i came home and had a nap for almost 1 hour. i had cold sweat and drooling LOL. no kiding!
now im off to bed. hopefully i could stay awake for few pages of the novel...

ohhh..the hormone again!

Lamenting AGAIN & AGAIN ...duh!

my father named me SUCCESS. He longed to see me being successful. my father said that i am "nice". a remark that touches my heart since i dont think i did much to make him proud..yes i'm always sit in the corner, gazing at the globe, reading and writing. now i realised i am him.


i met interesting people along my journey. some of them stays..others choose different path. i jumped and laughed at times...cried and screamed too. i lost my love ones... two dear friends went away without saying good bye. i was torn apart but accept it as Allah wanted me to be. oh, "how i could not stop for death".


i went through the years penniless..striving my life...working days and nights..sacrificing my social life. i have met lots of acquaintance but few friends. i was happily occupied with routine. thus, i did envy my friends who could just hang out and sipping drinks at cafe while i had to go to bed at 10pm so that i could wake up at 3am to study. i was thinking, it must be wonderful to withdraw money by the end of the month without juggling 3 jobs a day, 7 days a week. how fun it would be to ride the roller coaster on weekend. However, i couldnt afford it. no new clothes..no fancy gadget.



one day i cried my heart out..my 3 months old printer literally broken into pieces. a shelf with heavy items fell on to it...oh, how could i afford a new printer. i bought it before i left my job. yes purposely for my study. allahmdullilah i managed to get some translation job which i invested all of it to buy a new printer. the one that i used till graduated.


okay..that's it..no more lamenting my past...sound dodgy enough

The Slingers said "You Very BAD"

we named ourselves the "slingers" although the word doesnt even exist. there were three of us..walking along the colourful street with our sling bangs on the shoulders. we did catch the people's attention in certain ways. these three most interesting "people" eating and chatting..laughing our heart out.

Me a.k.a ms freak..happily stuffing my fat face with food. Reena the TEFL tutor funnily imitating her foreign students' accent. " Bulan Very baaD".. while as usual, Harumi politely giggling at the remarks made.. Me..I very baD...suprisingly..our silly act caught some cute attention..how sweet could it be..;) wink * wink* why bother..just take it as a compliment..we are a bunch of crazy "slingers" anyway.

"WE VERY BAD"

You are NEVER alone

Sometimes, when the world's not on your side
You don't know where to run to
You don't know where to hide.
You gaze, at the stars in the sky
At the mountains so high
Through the tears in your eyes.

Looking for a reason,to replace what is gone.
Just remember, remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

So now as you long for your past
Prepare for your future
But knowing nothings going to last
You see this life is but a road
A straight and narrow path
To our final abode
So travel well O Muslim
And Paradise will be your home
And always remember
That you are never alone.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (Allah is there)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.
You are never alone (you are never never alone)
Just reach into your heart
And Allah is always there.

You are never alone (you are never alone)
Through sorrow and through grief
Through happiness and peace
You are never alone.

Even on a rainy day...there's a beautiful butterfly outside the window..waiting for you to reach out

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Hit it in BobbY Style

i couldnt stop from writing..and im aware about it..through happy or sad times. all i wanted to do is to expose less of my personal matters to the readers. this blog is purposely created for leisure..something more casual. i do write a lot..here and there..i even have manual journal, to record on things before i head off to the bed or if i ever have any idea right after waking up..now im in the process of updating my Bulan's Quest..a blog which more into my personal quest..or travel. i had my recent "wonderful journey" drafted on papers. thinking that i better type it down b4 im loosing all those details.

then im planning to shift my old blogs dated 2004 till 2009 to a new blogsite..i did export and import thingy but it left the blog unchronogical. a bit messy. so..i dont favour it at all.

since i'm still getting grip on the real world and picking up the pieces of jigsaw puzzle in my current life..i have no time to just sit and type..yes..shall i say i'm looking for the missing pieces of the puzzle..and insyallah will find it soon..perhaps..it's under the couch.

as i laid back and doing research for my boss..my friend texted me..putting a lil smile on me..yeah a text which sound more like this " Sister, me and my husband were watching classic hindi film "Bobby" and we think that Bobby does look like you a lot"
and i replied back "hahaha..so who's the hero?" she replied " forgot his name but maybe your "one" looked like him" i replied back "maybe..hopefully my "Rishi Kapoor" is on the way..anyway people said there are 7 people looked alike in this world" She replied "whatever it is..you are the Bobby" i ended the sms "send regards to Ahmad and kisses for baby Abdul"
i think i'll visit them some time soon.

Bobby..the first image came into my mind is her red skimpy outfit..which i shall not describe more..she's such a hottie. the story is a typical Bollywood love story. Boy met girl. boy is rich..girl is poor. Boy's family disapproved. arranged marriage to other rich girl. Poor girl sad but gave up. Boy ran away from family. Boy took girl away. Boy's family searched for them. Boy's family finally approved and Boy and Girl live happily ever after. of course there's dancing and singing for 3/4 of the movie and punching and kicking with elaborated sound effect...that sound more like an elephant trampling over a human's body rather than a human's punch..amazing!

Look at the Picture..im nothing like Bobby..well at least she reminds somebody of me :)

real life is not as simple as "Bobby"..call it lucky or whatever. it takes time to finally get to assemble things together. then when a part of it goes missing, you just had to keep looking. there'll be times you'll stop looking and make the process slower..wheras the missing pieces could end up in the dustbin or hidden in a corner of your house. meaning, your life..you have to direct it..of course Allah does it but through you conscience. there'll be the time..you'll just loosing your conscience. hold on..chill up..take a break..then continue looking for that missing piece again. you'll find it at the least expected place or time.

the thing is i have no solid idea to write but im feeling like writing anyway.writing always make me feel better..been writing manually since 1990s..school life, teenage crush etc..things were bad at certain time but it's amazing to read again and know that im still alive :) see..im not an angel and never been perfect in many ways. i get emotional..i cry..i laugh..i stutter..i stumble..i fall..i break

the one thing keep me goin is my faith...
yes i gotta have faith..again..Life Goes On

Taking a Time Out

I am aware that not many fellow blogger been reading my blog and my blog is never been popular or important. i like to write and blogging seems a cool way to express my thoughts and ideas, let it be "real" or merely "imagination".
but at some point, things get personal. Then i feel the need to take a break from blogosphere..just to ease some thoughts.
my break is not going to be permanent, maybe for just little time which im not sure....
so for the time being, i'll just sit quietly in the corner. Perhaps, i'll just blogging the ancient way..manually with pen and papers. no audience but that will do.
insyallah i'll be back in no time..with better stories and less wimpy ideas.
now, i rather keep my thoughts in my wonderland while updating my quest privately till i'm ready to go public again. there are so many things i wanted to write about untill i dont know how and where to start. it's better for me to just scribble it before let others read.
insyallah i'll be back soon since i love writing and knowing that someone been reading my "piece of junks". yes..MY thoughts, MY dreams
Thank You all for all those time spent reading this "junks"...

The Kohled eyes

i was feeling under the weather yesterday. feeling all craps and all that i wanted to do was lying on my bed, closing my eyes and pretend to sleep. i put my mobile on silence mode..yet feeling it vibrated. i just let it went on. yes..i was feeling upside down..trying to open my eyes and put the kohl and go on with my life. unfortunately no kohl would hide those emotions..so i rather kept the kohl for less turmoil days when a thin line shall hide the restlessness. sometimes i believe kohl is a magical substance that could make crying eyes smiling :)

wearing kohl is like wearing a mask to me..when i tried to remind myself..wake up! life has to go on. put this kohl on ur beautiful eyes yet puffy..put on a great smile on that dimpled cheeks..walk your head up..greet all those you meet on the way to punch your attendance card..hold on..till you'll get to your partition..then sit and .......try not to wet those cheek with the black kohl..ITS OKAY TO RUIN YOUR KOHL BUT ITS NOT OKAY TO RUIN YOUR DAY

The Quiet GirL..

who sat on the top of the mountain and finally screamed her heart out and listent to the echoooooo.....nobody could hear her but only herself...then she decided to sit at the corner again..where she belongs..she better off that way

"WheeLs" Go On

Another Case of morally reprehensible ScumBag :(

who do you call a LOOOOOSER? in my rusted and frozen brain..i defined it as a person who is taking advantage of people. especially those who are weak..or in need of something. why do i call them a loser rather than an opportunist? an opportunist grab an opportunity without taking advantage on others while a loser works the other way around. a winner definitely looking for a more challenging task by competing with winners..only then they can claim themselves as winners and shouting the words of triumph!!!!glory glory ....(hahaha MU football anthem)how do you recognise a scumbag?not long after you started to hang out..you just know it..but the problem with us ladies is accepting the truth which we are not sure off whether its an instinct or merely irrelevant suspicion..my advise is to take it slow..sit back..think with all your conscience and most important of all..pray to the One and only..Allah the most gracious..Insyallah He'll lead us the way and make us content with what had happened and decided..to my dear friend..im here for you..life is not always easy for me too but we could make it better :)

FooLing My BoDy

Hahaha..LOve this BunnY Pic..it's SO ME (at crazy Times :P)

i never been comfortable whenever hormone is concerned. its tough dealing with the imbalanced let alone to purposely "create" the imbalance. now..i rather keep it cool since what i'm doing now it's for a good cause. it's nothing new for others but for me..it's the other way around. i guess i shouldnt think much about it and just swallow the pill at 10 am daily..for next 30 days. the doctor confidently tried to assure me that minimum side effect will be experienced and things going back on the track once i'm off it. i guess the medical practitioner knows better.

what i'm doing now is-Chemically confusing the Progesterone. delaying the process of releasing the "babies"..oh well..life goes on

The Truth is You are just an insignificant DOT...

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28

life is life...once you are all aware of things revolve around you but there will be times when you had no clue at all. there are times you are so brave and feeling like you are strong enough to face anything, to deal with any obstacles. then, there are times when you are feeling extremely fragile and couldnt even step out from your bed.
you try not to depend on people knowing the possibility that they wont be available 24/7 for you but you couldnt deny the fact that you do need help. help in that vulnerable moments that you couldnt avoid. asking for help is not a symbol of weakness but somehow you do reason yourself for not to. yes, people always say "i'll be your shoulder to cry on".."i'll be there for you"...isnt it nice to hear that?
but i do believe that..most of us rather pour their heart out on the pillow...kill the pain with some painkiller than sending an SOS msg at odd hours.
have you ever feeling numb? all over your body ..from hip to toe..when you couldnt move any limb..except your fingers..but the hp is far from your reach.
you wanted to scream out loudly but gutless to do so...all you could do is hope and pray for someone to finally knock on your door and be your hero by saving you.
till then..you'll be lying still on the cold floor while bad thoughts flashing into your mind.. 2 hours of grumbling with pain..you had no choice but to try whatever it takes to get up. you roll yourself right and left, grabbing anything that can be used to make you move..because you know..there's nobody to assist you since you are insignificant enough for others to be bothered..
life goes on although you are an extremely tiny dot to them...
and when the numbness eventually cured..you could always said "i did it again" and give yourself a pat on the back..your absentee still unimportant to others but somehow..somewhere..someone need you and they will make you rise again. not the thoughts of you needing them but the thoughts that they needing you. it's weird..but the thoughts of being needed do make most of us overcome our own pain, fear and resentment.
yes..if you cant smile..make others smile
an insignificant dot might be significance enough to some.

Walk if U Must Run if U Can CrawL if U Cant...Keep On Goin

coming back from a wonderful journey all tied up with the same routine. the hustle bustle of city life. catching up with friends...and dealing with some personal issues. life is demanding. taking a break from it is not an escapism but just call it a "cooling period". yes i believe in that. living in my LaLa land doesnt meant that i'm drifting away. it's like sleeping at night and having whatever dream i wish to have..especially those things that seems imposible in reality.

go on..swing as high as you can. put your legs up the sky...move as fast as you could..run backwards..create tales of incredible fantasy.

then..SnaPp!!!! wake up....put that thinking cap..a lil bit of black kohl to cover the puffy eyes..smile widely..show off the dimples...scream n cry out loud but only....in your imigination

that's the way it is...Life goes On

Escape to Nowhere

it's raining this morning. all wet sticky and gloomy. i approached my car in a rush. getting wet was not an option. sat there for few minutes. heating the engine, turning in the wiper, listening to the sound of it. feeling a lil bit tired. didn't know why. tried to sleep earlier but i was feeling like i dint sleep at all. it was not a restful one. i wish i had one.
work was okay yesterday. i have finished all letters and information that needed to be sent prior to the upcoming meeting..
it's funny though...my work is a serious matter to people of the country. i deal with ministers a.k.a politicians. assisting them in making decisions for us..for everybody. finally...it always them who decide. me sitting there..clicking the notebook scribbling notes, trying to catch every single word they are saying....
soon...my my will be drifting away..far away..enjoying the company of the non humans...i always try to escape. escape myself from the reality which could be emotionally and physically demanding. a dreamer who will still need to get on in the real life.....
it's the beginning of the day but i already worn out.

what should be done?

finally i have the courage to open the box which i used to store my old written journal from 2000-2004. i knew it was there all along but i chose to ignore it. there are too many details that i rather not remember. it's there...will always be there. i couldnt erase what had happened but i could pretend that i dont remember. of course i will always remember it but i rather store it deep down my mind and lock it.
i was thinking of destroying all of those. perhaps setting a campfire with all those journals...some sorts of celebration sayin..been there..done that or an expression of relief sayin..i went thru all those craps or an expression of denial sayin..i never wanted to recall all those details...
should i destroy it? should i keep it?
i think the best thing to do is to burn it....by the seaside
i wouldnt even want to read it again....so why keep it? i definitely dont want others to read and i'm sure that it's not goin to be published not even when i'm dead..."a Diary of a Wimpy Women" which can be purchased from the psychology department? no...i dont think so