Friday, April 30, 2010

MY LiBRarY MY GaRDeN


i love reading..it seems that that's the only thing im good at..read and plus another one, dream..it's good to know that there're other things in life can make me content. life is challenging, people make me smiles...some make me cry. books could give the same effect but shall i say...in less painful way. reading makes me travel to the places that i yet to discover. life will never be bored as long as i have my small garden and crowded bookshelf which i referred as "library" :)

this was posted in my 5th blog but then i couldnt manage it well. so i decided to delete the blog and shift my book review to this blog. it doesnt matter where i posted it .all that i intend to do in this site is tot write book review or just mumbling opinion about books that i have read. i used to record whatever i read manually so now..it's time to keep the record online so that it wont lost. yes less paper...help to save the earth...not so ;( because i'll be consuming electric more..sigh!!!

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. unfortunately my garden is not so well. the flowers are not blooming, the greens are fading..but im doing my best to keep it nourished. i need more oxygen to keep my brain functioning better..then i could read and read and read....

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Things Not To Do in 3 Months--updated

let me list down


  1. cut my hair..like it..but plan to chop it soon..bye bye OFF WITH THE HEAD!!!


  2. colour my hair...doing next week..but be more natural..henna based only since it reminds me of :my late dad commented "can you pray with that colour on?" my mum said "what have you done with your nice hair?" my sis asked," where do i get that same colour?" my lil niece said, "This is aunty's hair (referring to her doll's bad locks)" my colleague stressed, "Of course there's no Pork in the hair colour product!"


  3. eat carbo on weekdays except wholemeal bread/brown rice...im fatter Now..


  4. Drink more than a cup of coffee on daily basis..i hate coffee now..well dont know why but after coming back from the "journey"...untempted at all..glad to be"decaffeinated " at last


  5. forget drink milk before bedtime..milk goes stale in my fridge by the time i remembered about it..powdered milk not so tasty ;P


  6. wake up late even on weekend....seems to be waking up before fajr lately


  7. get crazy...not clinically but i do get crazy many times..all the time


  8. easily stressed up...not now was before


  9. buy make up.....just a black kohl for emergency "masked up" in office. sheer colour lip ice..i'm ditching all those lipsticks, fancy eyeshadows, pinky blushes..settled for black Kohl, mascara and natural colour lip gloss only..thinking of goin "au naturel"


  10. buy books (i have lots of unread new books-so read all of it first)...i bought almost zillion books. always have soft spot for books..cant say NO even constantly"hackin" Tahirah's bookshelf..for Neesa's books..Sorry Mate :)


  11. buy new clothes...bought some modest clothes..perhaps time to clean the wardrobe and get over the frilly hello kitty styles


  12. change shampoo..i did..finished last one..while waiting new one imported from Japan. hurry up Keiko-san!


  13. being lazy..still do..its in my blood :P perhaps need a blood transfusion..need to upgrade to A instead of AB..ridiculous!!!



result?

4 achieved

5 need to be improvised

4 justified

well done..mission accomplished!!! no failure just "pending" success..better strategies next time

Friday, April 23, 2010

Hit it in BobbY Style

i couldnt stop from writing..and im aware about it..through happy or sad times. all i wanted to do is to expose less of my personal matters to the readers. this blog is purposely created for leisure..something more casual. i do write a lot..here and there..i even have manual journal, to record on things before i head off to the bed or if i ever have any idea right after waking up..now im in the process of updating my Bulan's Quest..a blog which more into my personal quest..or travel. i had my recent "wonderful journey" drafted on papers. thinking that i better type it down b4 im loosing all those details.

then im planning to shift my old blogs dated 2004 till 2009 to a new blogsite..i did export and import thingy but it left the blog unchronogical. a bit messy. so..i dont favour it at all.

since i'm still getting grip on the real world and picking up the pieces of jigsaw puzzle in my current life..i have no time to just sit and type..yes..shall i say i'm looking for the missing pieces of the puzzle..and insyallah will find it soon..perhaps..it's under the couch.

as i laid back and doing research for my boss..my friend texted me..putting a lil smile on me..yeah a text which sound more like this " Sister, me and my husband were watching classic hindi film "Bobby" and we think that Bobby does look like you a lot"
and i replied back "hahaha..so who's the hero?" she replied " forgot his name but maybe your "one" looked like him" i replied back "maybe..hopefully my "Rishi Kapoor" is on the way..anyway people said there are 7 people looked alike in this world" She replied "whatever it is..you are the Bobby" i ended the sms "send regards to Ahmad and kisses for baby Abdul"
i think i'll visit them some time soon.

Bobby..the first image came into my mind is her red skimpy outfit..which i shall not describe more..she's such a hottie. the story is a typical Bollywood love story. Boy met girl. boy is rich..girl is poor. Boy's family disapproved. arranged marriage to other rich girl. Poor girl sad but gave up. Boy ran away from family. Boy took girl away. Boy's family searched for them. Boy's family finally approved and Boy and Girl live happily ever after. of course there's dancing and singing for 3/4 of the movie and punching and kicking with elaborated sound effect...that sound more like an elephant trampling over a human's body rather than a human's punch..amazing!

Look at the Picture..im nothing like Bobby..well at least she reminds somebody of me :)

real life is not as simple as "Bobby"..call it lucky or whatever. it takes time to finally get to assemble things together. then when a part of it goes missing, you just had to keep looking. there'll be times you'll stop looking and make the process slower..wheras the missing pieces could end up in the dustbin or hidden in a corner of your house. meaning, your life..you have to direct it..of course Allah does it but through you conscience. there'll be the time..you'll just loosing your conscience. hold on..chill up..take a break..then continue looking for that missing piece again. you'll find it at the least expected place or time.

the thing is i have no solid idea to write but im feeling like writing anyway.writing always make me feel better..been writing manually since 1990s..school life, teenage crush etc..things were bad at certain time but it's amazing to read again and know that im still alive :) see..im not an angel and never been perfect in many ways. i get emotional..i cry..i laugh..i stutter..i stumble..i fall..i break

the one thing keep me goin is my faith...
yes i gotta have faith..again..Life Goes On

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Taking a Time Out



I am aware that not many fellow blogger been reading my blog and my blog is never been popular or important. i like to write and blogging seems a cool way to express my thoughts and ideas, let it be "real" or merely "imagination".
but at some point, things get personal. Then i feel the need to take a break from blogosphere..just to ease some thoughts.
my break is not going to be permanent, maybe for just little time which im not sure....
so for the time being, i'll just sit quietly in the corner. Perhaps, i'll just blogging the ancient way..manually with pen and papers. no audience but that will do.
insyallah i'll be back in no time..with better stories and less wimpy ideas.
now, i rather keep my thoughts in my wonderland while updating my quest privately till i'm ready to go public again. there are so many things i wanted to write about untill i dont know how and where to start. it's better for me to just scribble it before let others read.
insyallah i'll be back soon since i love writing and knowing that someone been reading my "piece of junks". yes..MY thoughts, MY dreams
Thank You all for all those time spent reading this "junks"...

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Kohled eyes

i was feeling under the weather yesterday. feeling all craps and all that i wanted to do was lying on my bed, closing my eyes and pretend to sleep. i put my mobile on silence mode..yet feeling it vibrated. i just let it went on. yes..i was feeling upside down..trying to open my eyes and put the kohl and go on with my life. unfortunately no kohl would hide those emotions..so i rather kept the kohl for less turmoil days when a thin line shall hide the restlessness. sometimes i believe kohl is a magical substance that could make crying eyes smiling :)

wearing kohl is like wearing a mask to me..when i tried to remind myself..wake up! life has to go on. put this kohl on ur beautiful eyes yet puffy..put on a great smile on that dimpled cheeks..walk your head up..greet all those you meet on the way to punch your attendance card..hold on..till you'll get to your partition..then sit and .......try not to wet those cheek with the black kohl..ITS OKAY TO RUIN YOUR KOHL BUT ITS NOT OKAY TO RUIN YOUR DAY

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Economic Moo-dels

my Boss was shouting my name "Bulan wat are doing now?" i wanted to reply but yet i stuttered "er..er..aa" honestly i was not doing anything except browsing newspaper.

"find information on New Economic Model".

where was that from?

yikes...i have no background on economic study at all but i do know that i contributed to the world's economy by shopping complusively for unnecessary things ;P



after downloading few info from various website i finally came across this



The Dummies' Guide to Economic Models

the best is that they use Cows as examples: how interesting!



21 Economic Moo....dels Explained
  1. SOCIALISM :You have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour.


  2. COMMUNISM :You have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk.


  3. FASCISM:You have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.


  4. NAZISM:You have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you.


  5. BUREAUCRATISM:You have 2 cows.The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.


  6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.


  7. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


  8. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.


  9. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows.You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.No balance sheet provided with the release.The public then buys your bull.


  10. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows.You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.


  11. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.


  12. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


  13. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.You decide to have lunch.


  14. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.


  15. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them.


  16. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.


  17. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.You worship them.


  18. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows.Both are mad.


  19. AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.You tell them that you have none.No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.


  20. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.


  21. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows.The one on the left looks very attractive

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Gossip Girls' Guide To - GET A LIFE !

"You know...Girls Talk" "No...i dont!" that's a pretty honest answer from me when Jamilah tried to explain her act.

mm...let's see my definition of Girls talk is girls 2 or more getting together and talk about their life..i repeat THEIR life not others..well ,what i normally do when i hang out with my girlfriends?..not many just Tahirah and Noor..sometimes i catch up with my "once-in-a-blue-moon" buddy Leena, the coolest outdoor trainer
what do we talk about? depends on the person or situation.

me and Tahirah will be all those youth stuff..late teenage years. she would constantly talk about her life, dealing with job interviews, relationships and family staying far away..only now she shows some interest in make ups and handbags. yes..i still think that her green sling bag is super cool. i might purchase similar colour but could be different brand..shall i say..cheaper. yes i never thought that i should spend that much for the sake of fashion.

Noor? Noor is married to a foreigner and now living in his home country. lately, she's been calling me frequently. the topic revolves around her 1st time pregnancy and simple conversation like "how to make cupcakes" to more complicated ones like "being firm on not to accept certain foreign culture". i do admire Noor for her courage, she's been married for more than 4 years and living in the same town with her in-laws. not once she mentioned bad things about them only recently when she couldnt tolerate more. of course being my long time friend, she does give me advice on certain things...all that we know we're there for each other despite being milessssssssss away. interestingly, both of us earned our degree in western countries but we dont talk about anything too western..err like- intimate relationships. it's waaayy too private! still a taboo for us..yes..we are not so westernised after all. we crack on lousy jokes most of the time..talking about our younger daysss...laughing on silly stories..

maybe that's why i was freaking out when my local friends started to talk about physical intimacy. i was like.."crapss..what should i say?" do Malaysian girls talk about this? i was not comfortable at all about it at all. one night my newly wed friend stayed at my place since her husband was away. so she started to tell me her new life as a wife. i was okay with all those "housewife's duty" only then she started to get more details...i dint ask leading questions..believe me..then i just cut her short by restlessly asking about her pregnancy..wooshhhh..that was such a relief.

another situation was when an unwed friend was about to describe similar intimacy..i just cut her short saying.."i believe you know what you are doing and the consequences from it. one day, if you need me..just let me know". another easy getaway :)

when Jamilah was trying to defend her act of gossiping on me..i totally disagree..No..girls talk doesnt have to be Gossip. she started to say that we girls do that frequently..aa..aa..not me. why do they gossip? maybe my friend is right..they have nothing much to do..they are not granted with creative brain like me..even worse if they tried to persuade people into believing whatever they said. this kindda of people should start they "own business" and begin not to mind others...please i dont buy unnecessary products..stop selling junks!

yes..can you imagine, a husband staying abroad, a maid to do chores and taking care of a pleasantly behaved 1 year old child..plus part time job few hours a week and the rest of the week.. be 24/7 free for gossips. how easy life is for certain people or could it be that she's sexually repressed? (mmm..kindda rude rhetorical question) hey..my blog..my mind..my say . does this consider as Gossip? eeer..hopefuly no.. i just getting all this rant out of my mind without having this what they refered as "Girls networking".

as a child who grew up in a house which never been less than 10 people living at the same time. as the only big girl among those small boys and too little girls..i had no time for having what they refered as "girls talk". 8 X 3 school uniforms plus 5 working clothes for my father..1 kg of onion to chop...dishes to wash..a large space to sweep..mountains of laundry (no washing machine) 3 or more cats to feed. the only thing i didnt do was cooking since my father was a fussy eater who would turn up for lunch daily for my mom's marvelous touch. of course we had no maid!

i was not complaining but thanking..since i spent more time indoors.. sometimes i did sneak out and went to friends' house just to be seen as cool enough to be able to join them. but i was not really accepted since i was labeled as a cry baby..everyone had to watch their words whenever they were talking to me since i was considered as super-extra-polite (mmmmm..maybe super- extra-sensitive). i did have 3 close friends and their moms love me :) till now..and dint mind if they spent time at my place. yes my parents had this habit..i was not allow to spend much time at friends' but friends were always welcome at our house..they could even spend overnight if their parents allowed. they chose not to since we dint have much entertainment except books...

i wonder why people gossip a lot..nowadays most of us have easy access to Internet..cant they just do their own research on topics they like..

for me: North Korea, Bali bombing, the Pasthuns (i believe that i have a small percentage of Pasthun's blood), fat animals etc..dont they are curious to know why people cant simply enter North Korea? How funny a fat monkey looked like? or just watch film online. all those boring south korean drama be fine too... or started blogging anonymously and say whatever they need to say..make it private post if possible :)

since i was small i loved digging my elder brothers' and sister' old textbooks..where i know that there are places in the world which have 4 seasons..where NZ has more sheep than human..Manchu Pichu are not names of two cartoon characters ( hahahaha ;P) and my father's encyclopedia of course..i love looking at the types of funny looking cats..persian, siamese..oriental..egyptian (not sure..but they do look like the cats in ancient egyptian drawings) ..dogs, bulldogs, german sherpard..poodles. flags of countries..most of the islamic countries have moon symbol..or green in colour...i know that Algeria is not Nigeria..Riyal is the currency of Saudi not Kelantan's
(yes..old people in the state still refering RM as Riyal)

now..i know why i never fitted into the "Girls Talk" concept..i had all different concept after all. no wonder some friends gave suspicious looks whenever they are having "girls talk'. im grateful for being raised like the way i had. my father is a good example of "it's-okay-to-be- "unfriendly' person..being unfriendly here doesnt mean that you have to be mean to others..you can be unfriendly by nature but having nice a heart too.

i remembered my "unfriendly" father who used to feed beggars when they appeared at our doorstep..once a Rohingya refugee came by. carrying her maybe 6 months old boy. she was selling something..i couldnt recall. we dint need it..instead of buying what she's selling, my father told my mother to prepare lunch for them. it was already 4 pm but they hadnt had lunch yet. they stayed for few hours, my father offered to take the baby but she was reluctant. perhaps that's what we referred as "motherly love". they left our house..not selling any product but not so empty stomach at all..and i saw my father gave them some pocket money. i wonder where are theynow..the boy almost become my adopted brother...

you dont have to be friendly to help people in need. dont need to have the 2 miles wide smiles that a politician could possible have during pre-election campaign...sending a message "Vote for me..i will help u". all you need to have is a good heart..some food to share or even just a cup of warm tea on a cold day.

to those who know me quite well..at least well enough to say, "she's just like that" . it's acceptable for them..to see me, minding my own business. however, there were times when some aggressive friends would reply "why should you bother her..she's not doing anything wrong. is she bothering you? is she bitting you? No..right! so..leave her alone!".

yes..it's not wrong to be slightly different and it's totally right to stay away from gossips..although finally you could be the object of gossip..hahahah how silly some people could be.
there were times when i almost explode after knowing that people are gossiping about me..thinking..if only i tell a big secret of "hers" to others...she'll be doomed and her life, marriage, career will wreck..but i guess..it's none of my business anyway and i'll get no benefit aout of it. my brain is full of more interesting things. shall i say more crafty? Colourful papers always attract me ;) more than rumours..

Finally, instead of spreading gossip on her as a revenge to satisfy my wicked heart, i decided to give her a trophy.. yes a project worth RM2000 and the best part is..she constantly asking me.."are you sure you dont want it?"...i just smiled and said.."i'm busy".

HOW SWEET A REVENGE COULD BE :)