a Year Less in LiFe

It’s been awhile since I last wrote a post. 2011 starts and I have things to plan, balancing work and family. I always wanted to be a better person both at work and home. However, I couldn’t organize my life neatly. Now, I have to be focus. ..Yes, who wouldn’t want to get the best employee award and at the same time winning a perfect wife badge. Simple house chores seem to be a big thing. It is good enough if I could squeeze in washing, ironing, cooking, mopping, cooking, and scrubbing on working days. Life could be crappy on certain days…I end up not looking after myself. Gained piles of weight and looking all scrumpy. I wish I will always look like an adorable princess for HoneyStar but unfortunately I often end up like the “red queen” in Alice in Wonderland. There were times; I’m worried about my own capability to juggle life and career. Everyone is not perfect but I dream of being a perfect person. Perhaps I need to stop all these nonsense ideas and be the best I can be. My “best” could be “worst” to others but...it’s me...my life. I want to enjoy life and be with my love ones. I love working but there’ll be time when I need to consider other possibility.


Work is ok. This year I am delighted to lead a research. I am totally eager to learn although the thoughts of completing it in 6 months bother me. I’m just scared…somehow, it’s a relief to know that my mentor has a good reputation and the best Guru in the field. My team members are all supportive and been helping me to gain information on the subject. This could be the only chance for me to challenge myself to the fullest in career. I think I’ll appreciate all these experience later even though my life could change 360 degrees.

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.”

My father named me “SUCCESS” and Insyallah I will be SuccessfuLL

what a Weird-DO

I just came back from 4 days work in Borneo...and I was tagged by Farsilla in Borneo...mmm...that’s a weird start. So these are the weird things about me...or shall I say extraordinary things?

1. I like to dream. I dream anywhere, in the meeting. During exams, watching TV...etc. I ’m a professional who need to talk serious stuff...it’s boring! So I end up having “colourful” imagination while meeting. I hate getting caught up dreaming. My notes always have this cute stickman doodled on …hahaha. Sometimes I feel like a child. 30s outside but 3 inside.
2. I don’t talk that much except to those I’m really close. Too much occupied with my dreamsSss, perhaps.
   I like the taste of left over fried chicken kept overnight in the fridge. I’ll eat it straight away without reheating it back...yummy
3. I prefer bread or pasta over rice (this is weird if you are in my country, where the staple food is RICE)
4. I don’t wear any make-up on my wedding day.
5. I like being on the top of the “world”...taking flights, lookout points, tall buildings...the higher the better...but never been the top in the class. I guess that answers my reason for having such fetish.
6. Maths exam always a nightmare for me. Yes, literally! Every time I am in a problem, dilemma, sadness...I’ll get that dream. I often dream that I’m in an exam hall...doing math test and the worst is...I failed the entire test L last night I had it too. My mark was 49%. Crazy! Come to think again. It’s a good achievement. Another 1 mark and I’ll get 50%. perhaps life is not so much worrisome anymore. I have a buddy to share and listen to me.
7. I stuttered many many times. I mumbled a lot too. Cute enough but could be disastrous if I’m presenting something in front of other officers.
8. I’m good in neither my 1st nor my 2nd language. I tend to mix my language whenever I speak.
9. I like fancy stationary and cute notepads.
10. I used to drink more than 3L water a day. I’ll bring my water tumbler here and there a lot. Can you imagine a lady carrying a super huge water tumbler around? LOL. Now I’m drinking less since I work in an air-conditioned office and its freezing cold. Have to force myself to drink more.
11. I couldn’t stop myself from buying books...again and again.
12. I don’t like wearing jewelry except my wedding ring.
13. All my watch, clock..are 5-10 mins earlier.

The list will be miles if I don’t stop listing. All that I could say...i am an official Weirdo. My friend used to tell me, “You are such a Weirdo...you don’t belong here”. So what I did was, packed my bag and went to search for my clan.. I wandered around for 3 years. Unfortunately, I dint find anyone quite like me.
There were times I’m feeling that I don’t belong anywhere. I just couldn’t fit in with others. Always have my own way of things. I do respect others but I don’t feel the need to change to fit in. I just like to go my own way…doing my own thing. Finally, I am lucky enough to meet someone who accept the “WEIRD” me.
Each of us was born different and this make the world a more interesting place to live. Am I right or RIGHT?

no more hokey pokey dance

yup..true enough. i barely have time to have dinner at home let alone dance :( i was away for 5 days then back for the weekend and was away again for another five days..but then i managed to sneak out and arrive home by 9 pm...off again early morning..back..off..back. next week i'll be away again for 6 days..2 days for HoneyStar's family day and 4 days for a mission in Borneo. this time I will drag HoneyStar with me. kindda happy to know that my supposed-to-be 3 days away after coming back from Borneo will be postponed. however, the chance for it to fit in HoneyStar's schedule is low...meaning he might not be able to tag alone.

for now, i would rather stay at home during weekend. doing piles of laundry from A to Z...baking some cookies..doing house chores..catching up with my sleep :) and BEST of all..being around HoneyStar.

i guess that's it..some lil updates..i do have lots of things to write but feeling not in the mood and sleepy..

good night zzzzzz

i miss HOME

been 4 days since i left home. this place is nice..with wonderful scenery but then i dont feel really good. i miss home. i miss my bed and the worst part is i miss my pillow partner

ONLY 3 more days left

I had only one day for eid but it doesn’t stop me from enjoying myself. My first eid as a wife and the interesting part is. We were hosting for the event. I woke up feeling sleepy since the day before I had to stay a bit late in office doing some job which the people’s on leave supposed to do. I could guess from the beginning that the date was just not suitable...a day before eid...a day before public holiday. I wonder why some people are just insensitive to this.

Sadly, I couldn’t take any leave. I chose not to since I only have 3 days left for the year. All I could say, I spent it meaningfully. Shall I say 2010 holidays are the best year in my life? It started with an AWESOME backpacking with two best buddies in Indonesia. Hoping from places to places in Yogyakarta, Solo, Bali and Lombok. Slept in different bed every night, swam in the sea of the three Gillis in Lombok. Watching the turtles… Snorkeling Without life jacket was an accomplishment to a beginner like me. I just learnt to swim in 2 years. Is still not good enough according to Honey Star L I still get nervous most of the time. Yes, I don’t deny it. I get panic easily especially swimming in the, sea feeling the current pulling me away. But come to think of it how could I be drowned. I was already in the water. Then, the monkeys attack in Bali did give us a nerve wrecking experience but we still have a good laugh whenever the memory flashes into our mind. .stranded in Denpasar, long delayed in Dhaka, cheated in Lombok..all those magnificent scenery... we sure had a good time. Always find ways to cheer ourselves.

Then, of all best travel I enjoyed. Better than solo backpacking in the North island of New Zealand…MY UMRAH in the holly land. A place that I wish to live forever and maybe others share the same thoughts with me. My umrah was an unplanned one…it started with my mother who longed to visit my father grave. He passed away few days after haj in Jeddah and buried there. My mother told me that she’s going to Mecca with her friends. I was skeptical about it, especially about her health. I just couldn’t let her on her own. I asked her to wait till the end of the year so that we could go with my ill brother. She insisted and I gave up. Then, a friend told me “Go with her!” and I DID. Two weeks were insufficient. I prayed Friday prayer, jenazah prayer for the first time in my life. Oooo...i wish the culture in my country changed and ladies go to masjid on Friday. We could go but it doesn’t seem to be a common thing. The masjids will be full with men and there will be eyes staring at us, the ladies. I hate to attract attention...gosh!

Alhamdulillah my umrah was smooth experience. I believed that being with my mother made it easy for me. I always had place to pray even in the most crowded place, strangers gave me space after knowing I was with an old lady. I am glad that I went with her and tried my best to assist her. I will never ever allow my mother travel long distant alone except from flying from my hometown to KL. That’s the best thing I could do for her whenever she wanted to come her or even she doesn’t want to come here. J With such tight working schedule, I couldn’t travel back often like before. She has a confirmed ticket for a week holiday in January 2011. All excited to show her my new “HOME”.

My prayers have been granted in short time. MasyAllah! Yes, Allah knows the best, he tested me in ways but he granted me later on.

home SWEET home

it's 930am. im done with sweeping and cooking. time to clean the kitchen & bathroom and get ready to work..sigh! i dont feel like leaving :(
3 days away....
hope to be able to juggle life accordingly.
i can only juggle 2 in a time..so now i choose family and work. delaying some plans for awhile. insyallah everything be okay. yes, i am blessed with a helpful and loving HoneyStar

Touch n' Go

life in the new sector is kindda busy. more or less touch n' go office. the advantage is..my table is less messy of course much more neat than before :)

i was away for 4 days doing research around the city and enjoying early evenings at home. i went late to office the next day..well, not purposely but just need to search for Noor's old dissertation. she's back from Europe for a brief visit. then, my staff called..asking where was I..yikes! any boss was looking for me? i did text my boss for sure. i told her i'll be back before lunch time. she said i need to come and raed up a letter...because i would need to attend 4 days course on the next week. crapss!!! 4 days working days and i would need to spend it elsewhere. couldnt be so bad..i was trying to calm myself.

so i arrived in the office around 11 am. 3 letters on my table. a letter for the course, an internal memo for an internal course dated 16 nov...luckily im spending eid here not my hometown, some people just clueless in finding a good date. i beg it will be changed to other date..hellooo...many will take a day leave before eid, to go back to their hometown or simply to herd the sheep from the farm to the mosques :o and the third letter was from a hotel i contacted for upcoming conference saying they faxed 2 pages of information. i found 1 page only and couldnt be bother to track the other one since the venue has been confirmed.

the following week, there was me..a 4 days course has been shorten to 3 days..suprisingly, the course is so interesting. thanks to the good facilitator and of course the experienced participants. and for once i talked a lot. im the only one from my ministry an i believe i could speak well about my profession. "this is the first time i met a teacher who like teaching'. i smiled proudly and such compliment is appreciated.

another day in office before a long weekend. so i went to the office and feeling so much relief to see no letter or memo on my table. so that whole morning, i spent my time filling the claim form..till it was time to print....i had to use my colleague's printer since i dont have one yet. 22-26nov, the meeting will be in another state..i was like "am i going?" she replied sarcastically..i would bother to tell you if you are not going. i just kept quiet...i dint really want to start using harsh words. let her be...what a miserable prego :P

then..the weekend came...me and Honey Star drove up north to meet Noor, Hamid and Baby Ali. i will write about the holiday later. we had a BLAST!

Today i was late...i dint know why..it's like many people were coming to the centre after long weekend. perhaps many things are delayed and needed to be settled today. Great! 15 minutes late. while i was rushing to take the lift i saw my boss..i said hi and was about to leave. he was asking.."how do i spell your name?" "what? an event to attend in 3 hours?" i had no blinking idea where was the venue. Kuala Lumpur! the traffic congestion scares me.

had to eat breakfast before leaving. event attended by minister normally starts late..so better to fill my guts. Luckily i remembered to pick up some books for Leena from Taheerah.. gave her a call and climbed the stairs..crossed the small street and up to her office...i waited in front of the lift for sometimes..tried to call her but nobody answered...so i had to just go in..yes, sneaked into the office. i dint have the access card anyway. i waited for a staff going into and yesSS!!..i was in. pretend that i was familiar to the place and got to Taheerah's office. so noisy there, it's like they were having some sort of party. since i had no time, i asked Taheerah to google the direction to the event. yes in 2 hours i have to be there.

went back to my block..looked for my senior and asked about the sheep for eid..she would confirm in couple hours.

i hurried to my table. wrapped the present i needed to give to my previous staff and ready to go. on the way out, i went to my former unit, dropped the present, met some friends and off to the event....which only started at 1.20 pm :(

AND I AM ONE OF "THEM"