it was raining when BB left. i dint cry but the non-stop raindrops till late evening enough to measure my tears. pouring my heart out silently. being apart from a person i'm attached is hard. we played, ate, laughed, learnt.....and the list goes on and on. it's like he's my shadow..or perhaps i'm the shadow. i refused to think much abou it. he's gone for a good deed. i should be happy for him. I DO..no doubt about that.
i dragged my feet to the parking lot. yes...we did something to make the muddy laterite parking place better. putting the small stones to make the puddle less deep, trying our best for the users convinience especially me :) I tiptoed on the muddy surface..trying to be very careful...not wanting the yellowish muddy water to ruin my CLarK shoes...it looked absolutely dirty . I nearly slipped down, thinking not to sacrife my favourite shoes..then ,I remembered him saying, "You know what..." i just shrunked my shoulder..He continued, "you can take whuduk with this water". "owww..." it never occured to me to do so...he is right. i guess..the water is clean enough..Anyway, it's just a puddle of rainwater mixed with muddy soil.
i walked pass the parking space holding tight to my pink umbrella. i dint want to go home yet. dint want to feel the lost. dint want to be alone. dint want to think a lot about it. the worst part is dint know where to go and what to do...crapss!
i moved to the nearest mall..all those good memories with BB flashed into my mind. i strolled, passed the shops, viewed the colourful items being displayed...not knowing where to go. Nothing really attracted my attention. i gave blank looks at the people passing by..gave them false glimpse tried to show to them that i'm sane enough. the same corridor..the same shops..even the sales assistants looked the same to me. it was pointless for me wasting my time wandering around there. I decided to make a turn, grabbed some fastfood on the way out and walked away.
Ultimately...i left the traces of memories. stepped on the muddy surface and couldnt care less about dirtying my shoes...telling myself,"it's okay, i just wipe it with wet cloth later on" still thinking..gosh how much i've spent time with BB all this long. being apart is hard...but that's the thing that i should live with...at least for now....
People used to say
"There are Things that better to be left alone"...
am i one of those "Things"?
again "LIFE GOES ON...."
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