Sunday, February 28, 2010

RambLing Nonsense

this is me again..sitting in my room and totally clueless..yes. i dont have any brilliant idea to write nor event to write. my brain is! i couldnt even think of a silly nonsense to be recorded in this blog tonight. yes, particularly tonight. it's a warm night with high level of humidity (think so)
hwy, my brain should be melting not frozen. what is happening? im feelin like my brain been reprogrammed. luckily i still know who i am. let me count my fingers..1,2,3,4,5,6...10. enough! hungry. at this time of the night who will come an d bring me food. lots of uncooked food in the freezer but im not into cooking at the moment. let me think the options
-sausage? instant chapati? instant noodle? passed passed passed
no more bread..i wish i went to the supermarket this evening..but was pretty lazy. milo? finished..wait! let me check. nope! confirmed
okay..close my eyes and wish for the pizza to be delivered right in front of my door...and the bill already been paid...hahahaha

o Messago fromo Najeeno

ito o vero fino nighto..o littlo bito hot buto oko. o havont writto ino thiso languago foro agos. ito hardo foro mo. om moro comfortablo writtong ino Englisho...yeso! tho humano languago.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Walk if U Must Run if U Can CrawL if U Cant...Keep On Goin

coming back from a wonderful journey all tied up with the same routine. the hustle bustle of city life. catching up with friends...and dealing with some personal issues. life is demanding. taking a break from it is not an escapism but just call it a "cooling period". yes i believe in that. living in my LaLa land doesnt meant that i'm drifting away. it's like sleeping at night and having whatever dream i wish to have..especially those things that seems imposible in reality.

go on..swing as high as you can. put your legs up the sky...move as fast as you backwards..create tales of incredible fantasy.

then..SnaPp!!!! wake up....put that thinking cap..a lil bit of black kohl to cover the puffy off the dimples...scream n cry out loud but your imigination

that's the way it is...Life goes On

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Beauty of Not SLeePinG

i had sleeping problem recently. since last week and it's getting worse but honestly i couldnt find the cause. couldnt find external problems. i think my life is okay at the moment..just a normal level of stress and i dint drink coffee that much. all that i matter what time i slept..i'll be waking up before 5 am and i couldnt sleep anymore after that. i tried to close my eyes..shutting my eyelids tightly but to no avail. finally i gave up and started my days earlier than usual.

i remembered...when i was younger ..maybe 10 or 12 years old my mother had her own way to help me. She would tell me to close my eyes and to say salawat as much as i could whenever i had the problem. i did that and of course i fell asleep not long after saying the praises. not being able to sleep could be horrible at that age. i definitely dint want to be alone in the dark in such spacious house with lots of doors to empty rooms. the Scary bed Monster could just pop out from any door. going downstairs past my bedtime was a NO NO evethough the TV was still on and my parents were talking. my dad wouldnt like it if i interrupted them and saying i couldnt sleep. i was thinking that they were discussing about our exam result and plotting ways to make our lives difficult.. Only now i realised that no matter what was the agenda. they deserved to have time alone without the children...romantic or non-romantic ways, is not the question.

no lights should be on past bedtime. meant no reading either. basically there's no excuses to go out from the bedroom. "Go to toilet" "drink the water" "before you go to bed!". orders that most of us tried not to break except sometimes..when the boys were having a sugar fit.

as an adult..i rarely had sleeping problem. the more stress i had the better i slept but things were not the same since last week. i found myself waking up approximately 4.45 am. after 20 minutes of restlessness..i decided to get up and take whuduk..pray. telling myself "Allah gives me chances to wake up and do little extra prayer"...thinking of that, i'm feeling quite contemplated since getting up was a hassle for me..most of the other mornings. alhamdulillah i had the opportunity to do some prayers 3-4 times this week.

in simple turning the "problem" into an opportunity.
yes as what i read in my fave book "Convert a lemon into lemonade"

Friday, February 5, 2010

Escape to Nowhere

it's raining this morning. all wet sticky and gloomy. i approached my car in a rush. getting wet was not an option. sat there for few minutes. heating the engine, turning in the wiper, listening to the sound of it. feeling a lil bit tired. didn't know why. tried to sleep earlier but i was feeling like i dint sleep at all. it was not a restful one. i wish i had one.
work was okay yesterday. i have finished all letters and information that needed to be sent prior to the upcoming meeting..
it's funny work is a serious matter to people of the country. i deal with ministers a.k.a politicians. assisting them in making decisions for us..for everybody. always them who decide. me sitting there..clicking the notebook scribbling notes, trying to catch every single word they are saying.... my will be drifting away..far away..enjoying the company of the non humans...i always try to escape. escape myself from the reality which could be emotionally and physically demanding. a dreamer who will still need to get on in the real life.....
it's the beginning of the day but i already worn out.