To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28
life is life...once you are all aware of things revolve around you but there will be times when you had no clue at all. there are times you are so brave and feeling like you are strong enough to face anything, to deal with any obstacles. then, there are times when you are feeling extremely fragile and couldnt even step out from your bed.
you try not to depend on people knowing the possibility that they wont be available 24/7 for you but you couldnt deny the fact that you do need help. help in that vulnerable moments that you couldnt avoid. asking for help is not a symbol of weakness but somehow you do reason yourself for not to. yes, people always say "i'll be your shoulder to cry on".."i'll be there for you"...isnt it nice to hear that?
but i do believe that..most of us rather pour their heart out on the pillow...kill the pain with some painkiller than sending an SOS msg at odd hours.
have you ever feeling numb? all over your body ..from hip to toe..when you couldnt move any limb..except your fingers..but the hp is far from your reach.
you wanted to scream out loudly but gutless to do so...all you could do is hope and pray for someone to finally knock on your door and be your hero by saving you.
till then..you'll be lying still on the cold floor while bad thoughts flashing into your mind.. 2 hours of grumbling with pain..you had no choice but to try whatever it takes to get up. you roll yourself right and left, grabbing anything that can be used to make you move..because you know..there's nobody to assist you since you are insignificant enough for others to be bothered..
life goes on although you are an extremely tiny dot to them...
and when the numbness eventually cured..you could always said "i did it again" and give yourself a pat on the back..your absentee still unimportant to others but somehow..somewhere..someone need you and they will make you rise again. not the thoughts of you needing them but the thoughts that they needing you. it's weird..but the thoughts of being needed do make most of us overcome our own pain, fear and resentment.
yes..if you cant smile..make others smile
an insignificant dot might be significance enough to some.