Monday, December 7, 2009

KeePinG FaitH

How do you strengthen your faith? Your religion? Your Deen?
Does having a religion means that yo just do the Dos and Quit the DONTs? Well, that’s a part of it but there’s definitely more elaborate than that.

This is a story of sweet LiL Kimi from my point of view. Kimi was popular for her ability to speak Bahasa Indonesia after spending some times in the country, living as an expatriate family in a majority Islam community. She was fascinated with the beautiful religion and decided to convert to the religion once she’s back in OZ.

Reading her blog is really enjoyable…adoring her cute lil face and the pink Hello Kitty background. I dint register as her follower but I secretly reading her blog from now and then. She just has the right stroke in writing. Her thoughts were perfectly organized and trust me..she’s everyone sweetheart. She seemed to be so into her new “belief”, honestly her attire were even more modest compared to me. I viewed her as a strong young lady trying to be a good muslim in a kafir society. However, they were so supportive…providing a comfortable environment for her. Although I dint like her pet doggy that much..

It’s amazing reading her words of wisdom…how courageous she was. Talking about Islam, Quran, hadith…most of the entries were Islamic. She’s so well spoken. She had hundreds followers that gave her heartening comments. She’s a sister to most of them.

I always wanted to tell frends about how intriguing she was. Telling how Allah granted Nur to her … whoever being chosen. I called it a graceful NUR and she’s one of the lucky one. She was born again at the aged of 15 and was as clean as white linen sheet. How fortunate she was.
On the other hand I’m in different situation compared to her. Being born Muslim means that I inherit the religion. I grow with it. Live with it. It’s my life. There’s only one Allah to me. Glad that it never occurred to me to think that there’s other God.

I have to admit that there were times when I forgot to say Alhamdulillah when granted with blessings..but I never blamed Allah as well as fate whenever I was hit by thousands of problems…when I failed..when my heart was badly hurted..when things dint turn the way I wanted it to be..when my days were darker than anything…of course I broke down and cried but having my faith…always make me feel better later on even stronger than before. i just keep in my mind that There are things beyond our control and predestined by Allah. I guess Kimi has problem in believing in the concept. She has doubts not only on the existence of Allah but god generally.

Faith was taught in simple ways by my mother. “How do we know Allah exists?” “Look around you…trees, hills, river..AlIah makes all of them”. Living in a countryside make me aware with the nature more than children nowadays who’ve been surrounded my man-made buildings and modern machines. Perhaps they couldn’t relate the existence of the world with the existence of Allah that much.

Apart from that I was reminded since I was a lil child that we cannot say bad thing about Allah and prophet Muhammad..let alone blame them. Why? Because Allah will get angry and we’ll be doom in Hell. At that time I always pictured Hell as a big pot of fire with hot bubble and smokes coming out from it..more like spicy curry prepared by my mom..but with extra chili and extremely hot so that it could melt your tongue in less than 2 seconds. So I rather not make Allahangry because it surely hot in the pot.

I was Growing up with that belief and it just stuck in my mind forever until now. It’s a simple way to explain to a small child and the best part is to stop them from asking lots of questions since there are lots of unexplained matters when religion is concerned unless you're a well-educate islamic scholar.

Okay..back to sweet lil kimi’s story. So there she was, an idol to most of new converts or even us the born Muslims. The last time I read her blog was just less than a month ago. She’s happily announcing her engagement and plan for a perfect muslim’s wedding. She even started to create her new blog on losing weight. I guess she wanted to look amazing on her wedding day. I mean, who doesn’t.

I always wanted to leave some comments on her blog but I never did. Until last week I feel like reading her blog again after taking a long break from doing so. To my surprise…KIMI LEFT ISLAM…yes the sweet Hello Kitty’s fan choose to stop believe in ALLAH..she even said that she doesn’t need god anymore.

But why o why? I mean..of all people….why kimi? Then again, I was told as a small girl not to question Allah’s deeds. Kimi’s sad story makes my faith even stronger. Again…Allah has the power to give Nur to whoever he decides and to take it back whenever he wants to…in just a blink of eyes.

Oh kimi, stop relate the existence of human being with evolution theories…and all those gravity craps..she never been forced to convert and i believe that nobody forced her to leave the religion either. it's all her free choice. some of us are really unhappy with her decission. maybe because we love her so much and could feel the lost. yes..losing the sweet girl who seemed to be fully aware with her new life as a muslim. i never hated her though.

kimi's story does leave us with a great mark. making our faith stronger. i couldnt agree more with this one blogger who mentioned that kimi does make some changes in ways we are looking at our religion. there's no point cracking our mind with all those questions on her reason to leave Islam but let's just think what could we learn from her story.

this is some of the things that i've learnt...She’s almost succeed in believing the 6 pillars of Iman. She seemed to pass all except the last one. Believing in Qada' and Qadar ..To believe in Divine Preordainment . I guess this is the hardest part. After trying all her best to be faithful to her new belief…she was tested..then she had a doubt on the religion..started to questions things. I don’t know to whom she discussed her doubts but she doesn’t seem to be satisfied with the explanations. Finally she calls it quit…leaving something that was once her biggest interest.

To kimi…I pray that you’ll see the Nur again and this time you’ll see it not only with your eyes but with your heart. How could you expect to understand all about the religion when it was barely 2 years for you to be a muslim. It’s possible for others not to complete the “study” till the end of their life. We just need to learn constantly and try our best inkeeping the faith. In good and bad times….

it's all come to an end for Kimi as a muslim but i still read her blog. she always been an interesting just that her recent blog is more on her anger with lots of ugly "F" words. perhaps it's true that having a good faith helps us a lot in controling our emotions especially the negative ones...i believe that. to control doesnt mean to repress the emotions but to manage it wisely :)

to Kimi all the best in not so pleasant world of crapsssss...which be better with lil good faith...Yes we gotta have faith.


  1. who do Sidq (truth) with Allah, Allah will do sidq with him too, means if you believe and you folow Allah's rules, Allah will rewards you as His says in Quran and He will make you faith stronger.... That's what our prophet Mohammad peace be upon him teach us... :)

  2. Kimi's story does "wake" me in certain ways