Feeling slightly light headed yesterday with a slight attack of gastric due to unnecessary anxiety. which should be under controled...but hey..life never been a piece of cake to most people. but one thing for sure, Life goes on. Run if you can, walking is ok...or crawl if you must...you just need to go on..doesnt matter how..
Honestly I was in blue and unsatisfied with my job. Then, Ms Ym from the faculty called me asking about my study status. Apparently my supervisor, Prof N was there. I was told to see her a.s.a.p. gulp! Should I go on or quit? Or just postpone it for another 10 years perhaps?
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about my previous plan in sort of “once-upon-a-time” story. Then he said to me, “It doesn’t mean your current life will be your last”. He’s right. I, by no means have no control over my destiny but it wouldn’t be any harm if I review my old plan and think about it again. By the way, that’s what I like to do best in my life. Yes...teaching. One day...it’s not impossible for me to go back to my old times. Teaching to a bunch of students who are eager to listen to me...discussing psycholinguistic theories with teachers-wannabes. Guiding them in exams…helping them to score good marks.
Satisfaction is important in life. I could be stucked in a secure job but unhappy or not so secure job but happy. Tough...it’s like having a secure unhappy relationship or insecure happy relationship. PARADOX in meaning but do happen in reality….knowing myself. I always choose to be happy. Of course I want to be rich...but I want to be a smiley face kindda rich…so having a place to stay…decent food to eat (cant say nutritious since I do eat junk food a lot...hahaha) a car to move around...lil extra cash for things..Be enough. Who cares if others r driving HONDA…I’ll be happy if I’m riding on a camel as long as there’s a “driver”…huh...i never like that engined animal a.k.a car anyway.
Now...what I’m thinking is...how do I turn back to plan A, after moving along with PLAN B? The problem is I might be facing some legal action. Some of it is quite ridiculous…so when penalty fees are concerned. I rather not talk too much. Perhaps before taking any step. I should consult a legal advise from the expertise not from friends who mostly will talk about commonsense...believe me. Been through all those and discovered that it could be nonsense after all. I rather not loose my senses anymore which could result me being unpaid for almost a year….sigh!!!
To be or not to be...The road not taken again…two roads diverged in a yellow wood…blabla…blabla
the point is, i need to Plant my own Happy Seeds. those seeds might not grow all but i'm having no doubt that some will :)